Edwina's story

I went through a fairly horrible couple of months while I was suffering from a serious illness and waiting for an operation. During this time my father suddenly died of sepsis, and I lost my sister to a long-term health condition. The grief was overwhelming. I couldn't work out what was grief, what was depression, what was pain from my illness - it was like my emotions were all tangled and I couldn't set them straight.

I tried to just keep going but inevitably, it all got too much for me. At home, I would burst into tears at the slightest thing. My partner was so supportive, but it was still a real challenge for us. On top of that, between my grief and my illness, I was struggling to work. The date for my operation kept getting pushed back because I wasn't well enough to go through with it. It was a long period of time where I was at home, getting more and more anxious and depressed. I got to a point where I couldn't really go out because I wasn't well enough physically or emotionally.

Eventually I got the operation and it went well, but the unhappiness I was experiencing didn't go away. I realised that it was turning into severe depression. One day I went to my GP and they told me I was getting better physically, but I knew I wasn't getting better mentally. We talked about it and my GP recommended I find some counselling or CBT.

It was at that point I thought of caba. Early on in my career, I had reached out to caba and, they had been extremely helpful with a tenancy problem. I called them again and, to be honest, I burst into tears as soon as I told them everything I was feeling.

how caba helped me

They were very responsive and quickly arranged an appointment with a counsellor within walking distance of my home. I had 6 sessions. In the first 1 I was very nervous, and I found explaining everything afresh difficult, but I quickly realised I was in safe hands and my counsellor was excellent. I was able to piece together when had happened, how far I'd come and how I was feeling.

The sessions helped me realise that I have several triggers for my negative emotions. For example, I would get very stressed at work because answering phone calls and emails was unbearable for me. I knew the reason was because I'd had so much horrific news delivered to me in this way. I felt like everything I did would turn into disaster. My counsellor taught me the difference between a reaction and a response. I learned to step aside from my immediate response, which was terror, and react in a more measured way.

It wasn't an overnight cure - I still have emotional challenges. But counselling made a big difference and I now feel like I can live my life again. My ability to work has really improved and at home, I'm a better partner and I'm easier to be around. I still have my difficulties - certain times of year are still very sad for me - but I would say my interaction with caba was nothing but positive. They gave me a lifeline when I was at my lowest point.